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NEW LJ ADD IT! [Wednesday December 13th, 2006 ] vogue_legendvogue_legendvogue_legendvogue_legendvogue_legendvogue_legendvogue_legendvogue_legendvogue_legendvogue_legendvogue_legendvogue_legendvogue_legend</div></div> 2 cmnt

NEW LJ [Monday December 11th, 2006 ] So, I was looking back through old entries and this journal is not positive for the most part. Goodbye negativity, hello new livejournal! vogue_legend</div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div> cmnt

[Wednesday December 6th, 2006 ] I'm moving out the second I turn 18. 4 cmnt

[Sunday December 3rd, 2006 ] Goodbbye 16. Hello 17. 2 cmnt

[Sunday November 26th, 2006 ] I'm way too overwhelmed. I really don't feel like dealing with this but I must. This is the very reason why I've avoided relationships with guys. I had a very lovely week, a nice thanksgiving. I think I really matured this week, I mean things that seemed really important and things I revolved my life around seem so stupid, ya know? Erica and I started studying for the SATs and I started reading again and caring about important things. It was so nice to be able to hangout all day, go see a movie, and go home completely sober and be fine with it. I've had my fun with drinking but, there's so many things I've messed up and oppurtunities I've missed because of it. Now I see all these people who all they talk about is getting "fucked up" or what they did when they were "fucked up". I mean, we all have our stories we tell. But I mean when you hangout with people and the only kind of conversations they are capable of having has to deal with not being in the correct state of mind just feels mindless and stupid to me. I mean I know I'll occasionally go to parties and have my fun or have a glass of wine sometime but I just can't deal with people who constantly feel they need to be out of their sober state of mind. Its hard to finally see this because some close people to me are like that and I know just feel completely overwhelmed by their presence. I know I need to tell the truth to some people but I really feel stressed and need to just cut off connections with them possibly for a bit. I don't want to have to jeoprodize friendships but, I really need to get my life together. Seriously, I had so much fun this week. I mean studying with erica and hanging out and working for her dad and talking and listening to music without the need of stupid myspace and other things was just so refreshing. I feel like I've accomplished so much and I need to completely get my motivation back and get productive. I hope this doesn't offend anyone. It's not meant to. I just need a break and somewhere to vent. I really feel like I'm starting to get a grip on my life. I'll reiterate what I just said that yes, I will enjoy myself at parties but I'm going to do that for occasional fun not because I feel like I NEED to do that. I don't. I can supply myself with my own happiness and I'll be able to do something with my life and really be proud of myself because I gave my 100%. Because I feel so overwhelmed, instead of having a huge birthday party, like I always do, I'm just going to have a small gettogether with a few friends and enjoy that. Seventeen next Monday. Wow, already. 2 cmnt

[Thursday November 23rd, 2006 ] This is the first time in years that my family celebrated Thanksgiving. This year I believe is the most meaningful oen of them all. Over the years I always looked forward to watching the MAcy's day parade and cooking and eating mashed potatoes. Now I understand the meaning of this holiday. We went around the table today and said what we were thankfl for. the only thig I could come up with was "I'm thankful that I am alive and here". Up until this year I never realized how precious life is and how lucky e all are to be alive and expereiencing life. It's not just the death of a friend its just I've learned to appreciate all the little things and that things can be ripped from you so fast. I feel more at peace with myself and I'm thankful I know all of you and I'm thankful I've gotten the chance to get to know you. All of you are such wonderful people, even if you rarely hear it. You all are. Somehow you greatly impact and influence the life of another and together we work in some crazy system of living. We influence one another and we move ahead with each other. I'm kind of just babbling now because I am in the rush to have my second thanksgiving dinner with dawn. I love you guys. cmnt

[Sunday November 19th, 2006 ] maybe im going down old paths again. whatever I'm happy so forget all your negativity! Blood brothers was fun, chill crowd, made new friends. woo! There were two really good, happy idie bands playing: "Brothers & Sisters and Celebration. They provided lots of songs to dance to. I only have 2 days left at subway. Come visit me. Bring me lovely gifts. I work till 10 anything will be appreciated. 15 days until I am 17 I am having a BBQ at my house. COME! 2 cmnt

[Saturday November 18th, 2006 ] My heart is in two places. Blah, I don't know what to do. Well, I shall just give myself a break from worrying I guess. BLOOD BROTHERS TONIGHT! lame if you're not going. cmnt

[Thursday November 9th, 2006 ] TOMORROW TOMORROW TOMORROW TOMORROW! AHHHH I can't handle myself, it shall be quite amazing!!!!!!! Tarek is coming up! THen...fort myers saturday, how badass! Woo! cmnt

[Monday November 6th, 2006 ] Fall Rally was amazing. I discovered the real feeling of love from an entire room of strangers. Funny how some said so little to me yetthey've said the most I've heard in quite sometime. Picture post and full details coming soon. cmnt

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